Mamba Out

I am in shock, I cannot believe that THE. Kobe. Bryant. is dead! With his second young daughter too! She was younger than me even, wow. Life is nothing at all, you can be young and thriving one day, and then the next you’re dead. His last IG post was from only a day ago, see that? Totally innocent of what was to come. Gianna… Her life hadn’t even really started, she was just a child. She had such great potential for basketball, and a bright future was ahead of her. Now.. she is no more, and her mom and sister have been stripped of a husband, father, sister, and daughter all at once. My heart goes out to his parents as well. Geez, isn’t 2020 beginning on such a bad foot? I’m in my bed still, but I was sleeping in and out, then I heard my mom tell my brother in French, “Did you hear what happened to Kobe? He’s dead, his daughter too.” That woke me up instantly! I had to go check on Google just to be 100% sure and unfortunately, what I heard was correct. This is honestly so sad, he was too young, and had so many more dreams and goals to accomplish. First, there were talks or probably moreso rumors of WW3 happening. Then, there’s this Corona Virus I’m hearing so much about spreading in China, and that it has reached at least 10 countries like New Zealand, Australia, and the USA? Finally, we have the tragic deaths of Kobe, his daughter, and the other beautiful souls that were on that helicopter with him. All of this is just making my eyes water, gosh. I’ve been struggling with procrastination for years now, and I give up very easily. I start things then I don’t finish it, all the time. I doubt myself over the smallest of things, and it’s horrible because I probably could’ve accomplished so much more and be somewhere else right now if it weren’t for my doubts. Even at this moment, I am doubting myself regarding my person, my future, everything; and it is a terrible weight to carry everyday. I wish I didn’t feel this way, and I wish I could be just like Kobe, reaching for the sky. 
“We all have self-doubt. You don’t deny it, but you also don’t capitulate it. You embrace it.” ~ Kobe Bryant
He was such an inspiration, and he was and is both my sister’s and I favorite basketball player ever. I remember us rooting for Lakers during the final game of the NBA against Boston in ’09. She was and is a hardcore Kobe fan to the bone, and would defend his honor like it was her own whenever discussions of basketball would arise. Just like me and more, she did not realize how much he touched her until he was gone. Therefore, I can only imagine what his family must be going through. I wish peace and love for his family, and I pray that him and his beautiful daughter are resting in heaven. This tragedy just tells you that life is full of unexpected decisions, and that it is sometimes or most of the time, impossible to understand it. We should all try our best to work towards our goals and be happy in life because like Kobe said, life is too short. Ultimately, life will move on for all of us, but the Black Mamba legacy will always be remembered in our hearts. R.I.P. KOBE 


Everyday, I check for my Daily Dose of news because my sister is always talking about how I should be aware of what’s going on in the world. What she doesn’t know is that my type of news is usually about the entertainment industry.. Just now, I read an article about Rebel Wilson’s weight loss. You may recognize her from movies such as ‘Pitch Perfect’ and/or “Isn’t It Romantic”. After reading that article, I was just wondering, what is the point of the whole “plus sized movement” if some of the very same people advocating it will try to get thinner?

Quoted from a recent Instagram post by hers truly, Miss Rebel Wilson stated: “I put on the athleisure and went out for a walk, deliberately hydrating on the couch right now and trying to avoid the sugar and junk food which is going to be hard after the holidays I’ve just had but I’m going to do it! Who’s with me in making some positive changes this year?” Isn’t she admitting that being plus sized at certain weights isn’t healthy?

Monique too from ‘Phat Girlz’ and ‘Precious’ lost a lot of weight back in 2018 and stated, “For a long time, I was a child in my way of thinking. I thought I could eat what I wanted, do what I wanted, and was reckless in the sense of abusing my body. That’s when I was younger.”

Moreover, another thing that gave her a change of heart was the fact she was diagnosed with high blood pressure at 262 pounds.. And they say that weight doesn’t bring problems #theirony

Jillian Michaels from ‘The Biggest Loser’ said, “obesity in itself is something that shouldn’t be glamorized, but we’ve become too politically correct that no one wants to say it.” Jillian, I am going to have to agree with you there 100%. I know I am not in the best position like Jillian over here to speak about health when I am not the healthiest nor the most active however, I still know better than to be part of a misled movement.


A Sister Who Loves

Oh my dear sister, 

I love you very much… If only you knew the depths of my love! What I would do to establish a trust between us. How I wish you weren’t nuts and I wish you could be the bigger sister that I want. It’s too bad things had to turn out this way. You’re my family, I can’t just throw you away. Despite who you are and what you’ve done and what has yet to become, I still love you very much.

I don’t know what you’re going through, it must be tough. I just hope that one day with God’s love you’ll come back to our family and say sorry and we can become one like how it was. We both made mistakes in our relationship, but we can learn from them and change; And that thing I did to you? I’m still very ashamed… I will never forget the small things you did for me that a big sister should have done when I was young.

When I was rude to this girl from my school bus rejecting her poptart which had her saliva on it and exclaiming “yuck!” Even though a simple no thank you was enough haha. You scolded me right there and then in front of all my friends telling me that that was rude. I was mad at you then but now I understand. I thank you for reprimanding me when there was no one else around who could and I also thank you for all the other small acts of kindness you’ve shown to me throughout all these years.

Whether they were genuine or not, I love you. While also remembering all the horrible things you did, I will also remember the good that I saw. I know what kind of person you are, but I still will like to believe that there is still some good left somewhere in your heart. I just blocked you on ig and believe me I feel shitty, but it’s for the best because you aren’t the best kind of influence; And now I’m crying listening to sad songs as I write a letter that I’ll probably never mention. 

Just so you know, I’m still waiting for you to come back and I’ll never stop even if all hope seems to have been lost. That’s the deepness of my love. I pray to God that you’ll recognize all your wrongs.


A Sister Who Loves

Darkest Of Them All

Mirror mirror on the wall

Who’s the darkest of them all

Is it another woman who claims to have the darkest skin

Is it my sister who wishes she was blacker 

Or is it I who was born with earth soil melanin

Is it a cousin that tans instead

Or is it me that rubs 100% natural Shea butter on my skin

Mirror on the wall

What do you see

Which blackberry is the ripest and darkest of them all

Which black queen has absolutely no faults

Flaws and all

Which blackberry is not a weed and can grow to a beautiful bush tree

If not already at all

Which black woman is the true queen and carries herself with grace and eloquence

That with each movement she makes it resembles a dance

Mirror mirror on the wall

Oh tell me that it is me

Or I will kill that black sheep

And afterwards, I’ll cry myself to sleep 

And never have peace

If the characters including The Evil Queen in “Snow White” were all black…


Beauty is fleeting

Impossible to stay forever

It’s like a flower

It grows to see its prime

But afterwards withers

Though some disagree

They wish to cheat

So they resort to Botox

To make their faces tighter 

Others to fillers

To make their breasts and buttocks fatter

And a few to fashion 

They dress themselves up to appear younger than wiser

How peculiar 

We all know we are going to die one day

So why do we make such an effort to stay pretty

Time cannot be controlled

And regardless

It will take its course

But I suppose 

That’s just another one of our flaws

Our common fear of getting old

In this materialistic world

The Clock

Tick tock

The clock cries

Hear me please

It says by my side

Tick tick

It strikes 7 o clock

It’s time to wake up

And clean yourself up

Still, it goes unheard

And it hears me sleep

As I unknowingly ignore its calls

At night as I’m trying to sleep

Everything is quiet and sweet

But then I hear something

It sounds very petite

Its tick tocks sounds familiar enough 

Then I remember I have a clock

I get up and go to where it is

I see that it is hidden behind something very big

I move it with all the strength that I can muster up

And finally see the same old clock that I only noticed once

The clock is joyous to see me

Its tick tocks has a happy ring 

Not the dull one when I was under my snug

Satisfied knowing it was just the clock

I move things back to where it was

And find myself in bed

Checking the time on my device 

Before I am soon deep in sleep dreaming about things I love

Already forgetting about the clock 

And the fact that its tick tocks went back to its usual hums 

The West is The Best

Whatever comes from the west is the best

Their fashion, news and even their hypocritical views 

People in the west think they own the rest

They’re just the best

Much less

The people that you don’t see

Those who control the money in your own country

And even send their military

To make sure there isn’t a single threat

Can’t top those flees

They’re the best of the best

They fill up their chests 

With gold, rubies and diamonds 

Anything that possibly exists

And we all see them as rich

Even though we all know such material was shipped

And that those who died to find it will trip 

When they realize all their labor wasn’t for shit

Oh goodness 

Pardon my language and tone I beg

I forgot once again that rawness coming from someone like me isn’t flawless

How I wish I were more ignorant

So that I can live the rest of my days enjoying a meaningless life pocketless

But I can’t 

To think I have to accomplish something just so I won’t be seen as a dirty tramp

To those that won’t see me for who I truly am

Whose roots reside across the Atlantic

The place where the west fills up their pockets

And chitter chat among themselves with all their ill gained profit 

The west is simply the best

Many already chant this sentence 

I genuinely pray that the west will enjoy what’s left

Because one day

The gates will be closed to every pest