Whenever I daydream about my perfect guy, there are 3 things that he must possess. Killing looks, money (duh), and his undying affection whereas he literally can’t live without me. #TheDream If I had to describe him picture wise hm, he would have dark bronze skin, plump lips, beautiful big hazel eyes, a gorgeous narrow and a little bit wide nose, a megawatt smile, shoulder length wavy and curly hair, 6’5 feet tall, an alluring accent, and a ripped body. ❤️
He would be the CEO of a multi billion company, also owning other companies and businesses in different fields. Extremely intelligent, wise, charismatic, and hilarious! He would be a family first person, and someone who is calm, not easily angered.
We would get married at 27, have children at 30+. Grow old together, and live a super long life. I could go on and on about him, but I don’t want to bore you.
Nowadays, whenever his image pops up in my mind, I can’t help but notice all I’ve ever dreamed about was only what I considered ideal, and possibly not real. I didn’t take in consideration the little imperfections that would him unique. Flaws that needed to be worked on, his thoughts and authentic personality as a person. Everything I thought about him resolved around me only, what about his personal life separate of ours?
His group of friends, what he liked and didn’t liked? All this time, I was living in a bubble with high expectations of a man who would offer me his life simply because of… What exactly? Then, I started thinking of my OWN flaws and issues.
Would he accept them all? Would he accept certain flaws that I would never dare utter to someone else besides my family? Especially if it makes you think otherwise of me? I have so many issues, flaws, and bad habits, it’s ironic how I started to think about his before mine!
Sometimes, I wonder if I’ll still be the same person when I’m an adult, if I’ll still have the same tendencies, personality, etc. What job would I have, what major would I get a degree in? Or would I finish school at all?… I think about all of this, and it honestly makes me so nervous. All these anxieties just from daydreaming about a person from my wild imagination, lesson learned haha!
I profoundly believe that there is a right time and place for everything. My mother tells me that I should wait until I’m 21 until I starting thinking or dating guys, I see her point and think she’s right. I am not at the level of maturity that I desire of maintaining a relationship with anyone. It is time consuming plus, I need my heart and mind in my studies in order to succeed and achieve all my dreams. I need to live up to my status in the family as the future independent woman who will live by her own rules and won’t need to depend on anyone financially after all!
Who knows, maybe even at 21 I still won’t feel ready, but either way, I won’t rush anything. Patience is a virtue, I intend to apply it. At this moment of my life, there’s still a lot more room to discover more things about myself, and forever will be as time passes by. It’s when I reflect on myself deeply like now is when I am happy that I’m homeschooled, I am easy to influence at times, and can be distracted easily. I think it’s good that I can get all the me time I need, while also improving myself as a person before I step out into the world of adulthood.
We have so many flaws and imperfections that I know we’re not all very proud of and don’t like to mention, and so sometimes without realizing it, we try to find people who we believe are better in those specific areas to make our own ego feel good. “I am not this or done that, but I’m with someone or friends with someone or know someone who has!” It gives us a false air of accomplishment, you see. Then, we end up kinda forcing our own expectations and ideals onto those people. Which can be a tad suffocating and pressurizing for them…
Our imperfections and flaws are what makes each and every one of us different and unique of course, however, it can also restrain our ability at times to see through people as they truly are if we’re not careful. We think about what we want from a person, instead of thinking what we really need for us and them, especially. I feel like that no matter how old we may get, there’ll always still be room for improvement on self discovery. Therefore, I will make an effort to stop fretting and thinking about someone who hasn’t even appeared in my life (yet), and think about what I can do NOW at the present for myself to be happy and satisfied in my life, with or without my perfect guy. 😉
My inspiration from writing this conversational reading was from one day, I was doing one of my bad habits again (My lips are sealed *~*), and then I just thought of how I could ever share my life and live with another person, besides my family obviously, with all my horrible tendencies. So there I am deep in thought, and then I realized I am very funny to expect something from another without giving anything in return!
My overall summary of this conversational story is before you start setting expectations for others, no matter what form of relationship, think about first what you have to offer. Not in the form of give and take, in the form of pure kindness and a broad mind, but also at the same time, not being blind. I hope you enjoyed this weekly blog, and have a great day/evening!